Thursday, July 15th 2021 has become another step of my life.

Indonesian tradisional procession

That night, about at 9 pm, my Mother ask me to check my Fathers condition. 

The condition is, My Father sleep since 11 am. No wake up, no food, no drink. But he breathe like his usual way of sleeping. So, I think there is nothing wrong. At the other side, he didn't sleep the night before. 

I ask my mother to have some rest. If he didn't sleep the night before, logically he will get more sleep at the next day, right?

So, I and my Mom sleep. 

About 11 pm, my Mother call me again. 

She ask me to check Father's condition. 

I got a strange feeling. 

So, I touch him. His skin is warm. But there ia no breathe. I check the impulse. Empty. To make sure, I check in some location. Empty. 

He has gone.

I prepare my self for this moment for so long time, as my father got DM since 2010. He can't manage his eating and drink habit. He don't like work out, and we have to force him to use medicine as he don't like them. 

I also understand that those who live will die, although we never know when. 

But as this moment come, I feel I still got the empty feeling, especially when I am alone. At the other side, Allah who create him. Allah will take him when his time end. I only need to let him go.

So, I am still learning to let go. 

I also realize that the best thing we can leave in this world is a good history, so that our Family will remember us as a good person. 

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